I thought about Ken's word, unconditional. Love offered without any condition of reciprocation or merit. No quid pro quo, the presence of genuine love defined by nothing more than value. Ounce by ounce, the more love the more suffering. How would i survive without my partner, my only love? Inside of me loneliness loomed, huge and terrifying. My days and sense of time unmoored. Marriage was my practice. Who but me would ever know how perfect we had life for a while, how good our marriage had been? I would not have even my best friend to relive the memories; for Ken was everything - best friend, lover, father. My living map of the known world.
the book that i didnt realise was written based on a true story, made me cry so much.
ouch, and wow to love.
just thinking about the ending just makes me want to cry again.
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